Mom Life

The BIG Apology

“If you are a working mother providing for your family, you are a rockstar! Be proud. Stop apologizing.”

I have been a working mother for over seven years. For me, it was nearly crippling to separate from my children as newborns or infants but I have found the difficulty eases with age. It is easier to send a child off to school than day care. It is easier when you know they can listen, understand, and voice their concerns should any exist. If you are like me, you may have spent years apologizing to your children for having to work, blaming your husband, wishing things could be different (where’s that dang lotto when you need it?) but what I have realized is I needed to ditch the ‘self-pity-party-of-one’ and teach my children the value in choosing to work. My toddler repeats to me daily as I prepare myself for work “Mommy don’t go to work. Daddy’s should go to work and make all the money while Mommy’s stay home and take care of the babies”. Clearly I had trained my toddler well through my own commentary and frustrations. But what I realized is one day when my kids grow up and need to provide for their own families I am setting them up for the same ‘mom guilt’ (my daughters) or ‘dad guilt’ (my son) should anyone choose to, want to, or have to work. Anything that deviates from my toddler’s decree could be self-devastating. The BIG apology for me now is not that I have to go to work, but instead I confess I haven’t taught my children it’s okay to work, to contribute, to want to have value outside of the home or being a mother. If you are a working mother, stand proud and stop apologizing to your children or yourself for it. You are awesome!

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