“Stop striving for perfection and aim to enjoy life, laugh more, and love more with your children.”
Somewhere between newborn diapers and elementary school I realized I was not a perfect mom to my children and never going to be. I’ve learned this lesson several times over but it doesn’t seem to stop me from trying. What I’ve come to appreciate is that it’s okay if I’m not a perfect mom or a perfect anything for that matter. Perfection must be over-rated.
Aren’t we supposed to embrace our flaws? Pretty sure I heard someone say that once or twice.
It’s one thing to embrace your flaws privately to yourself or amongst family but letting the cat out of the bag to ‘other moms’ is major taboo. Or so I thought.
Being a working mother of three young children my life is in a constant state of chaos juggling responsibilities. I pride myself in being extremely well organized. Aside from physical bins to collect and manage toys, homework, and activities, I have reminders in direct line of sight to keep me on track. Post-it’s, chalkboards, calendars, flyers on magnets, phone alerts, reminder texts, sports apps, email notices…you name it, I’ve got it in my organization arsenal. However, even the best achievers go down once in a while. And recently, it was my turn to take the fall. A public fall.
Oh sure, I’ve forgotten the occasional ‘crazy hair day’ at school, book fair money, and even packed homework in the wrong kid’s folder. But recently, I forgot the unthinkable. I missed a birthday party! Worse, I missed a birthday party I RSVP’d yes to. Still worse, I missed a birthday party for a kid my child really, really likes!
Being the Type A perfectionist ‘always on top of things’ personality that I am, every time I get a party invitation I immediately reply. Typically the same day as receipt, then I mark the calendar. I’m not the one you have to chase for an RSVP or who replies last minute or shows up unexpected. I would bet I’m probably the first reply in many instances. True, I once accidentally replied to a birthday party by calling the mom before 9am on a Saturday because my kids get up at the crack of dawn and I made the mistake of assuming it must be afternoon without checking the clock. It was more like 8am and I could tell the mom on the opposite phone line wasn’t thrilled to be awakened. Whoops. God bless her for having kids that sleep.
Anyhow, on this one fateful day I overlooked the birthday party written on the calendar and we were a no show. Ouch. And it took me ONE FULL WEEK to notice. It wasn’t until I was attending another child’s party I overheard two moms talking about the previous party (I missed) and I started thinking…’that party hasn’t happened yet’, but it did. Without me and without my child. I was humiliated.
I felt terrible. Horrible, in fact. With my tail between my legs, I called the mom to apologize profusely. Thankfully, this woman was completely understanding and encouraged we get the kids together for a play date soon. Deep breath.
Moms, we’re not perfect. I ration what’s more important is how we handle our imperfect moments and those of others. Be kind. Be forgiving. Be a good mom.
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The Woman with a Day Dream 